Please, the Zweihänder is a specialist weapon for breaking pike formations. Are your coworkers in a pike formation? Are they blocking your advance with a wall of thorny death? No? Then what the hell is a Zweihänder gonna do?
Really wanna fuck up your coworkers? Halberd from the elevator. Polearms have the range you need. Doors open, skewer Steve from accounting, doors close. Ride it back down, doors open, skewer Laura at the front desk. Back up, open doors, stab Jason, repeat. They call security? You’ve got feet of range on that motherfucker. Dinky little baton ain’t shit next to a Halberd. I’ve pulled the old elevator Halberd at five, six of my jobs over the years and they never see it coming. Until it’s too late, that is. Just a little tip for ya. Keep the change.
Honestly while I’m a massive proponent of the superiority of the halberd I would argue that an office space would be better suited for a much smaller weapon. Nothing is more embarrassing than swinging full force in an attempt to fell the ghouls that staff the finance department, only for your weapon to get stuck on a standing lamp or errant water cooler.
Reblog if your coworkers in a pike formation. If they blocking your advance with a wall of thorny death
Personally I’m a fan of the bombard
Sorry but I’m here on the side of the halberd always I just really really like halberds
imagine going to a house party and ask to go to the bathroom and like theres a dark souls silver knight guarding a chest in there. and like you ask him to not look but he doesn’t respond at all. He’s not like agro, or staring at you with intent, but he’s FULLY aware of your presence and watching you like you intend to steal
my toxic trait is being fervently convinced that if i ever came across a dragon irl we would make eye contact and understand each other at a primal level of transcendental trust instead of charring me into a crispy onion
